So the other day Nick and I were out bouncing around town and though we see people double parked all the time, and it gets really frustrating, that day took it to a whole new level. I hope everyone does realize that double parking IS illegal. I looked up “double parking fines in California” and the first link took me to the city of Sacramento where you can get a $35 fine for taking up two spots. This kind of parking is not ONLY illegal, but it is just rude, and pretentious. Who are you trying to impress by driving your very expensive car to the grocery store anyhow? Around here at least most of the owners that do this have the expensive cars, or one that is brand new. Fuck you people!! If you are SO nervous that something is going to happen to your precious baby then maybe you should have left it in the garage like Ferris Bueler’s friend.
The other way that pisses me off when people park are those that use the blue handicap parking, and then AREN’T either freaking handicap, or forget to put up their parking permit when they ARE OK to park there. Believe me when I say that I have, many times, called the police on people that park in the handicap spaces. Nick thinks I’m on some sort of vendetta against these people because I’m constantly looking at the cars to look for the permit. He has even mentioned a few times where he thinks that I don’t even realize I do it until I’ve found a culprit.
This is one of those times where those gay flames don’t just shine, but roar with fire and brimstone. This is when the “bitch” side of Ryan gets to come out and play. LOL! The look on Nick’s face is priceless when I’m looking at him while watching a tow truck haul some unlucky car away. Pay attention you fuck heads! There are people like me out there watching.
I remember a day very well when this all started for me. Nick and I were at the mall, well just walking up to it at least, when we saw a guy get a wheel chair out of the trunk of his car and bring it around to the passenger side and help his son (I presume) get into it. I was 16 at the time, and the kid looked like he was a only a few years older than me. I realize that places only have to have a certain amount of parking available for the blue spaces, so if ten handicap cars show up and there are only six spaces, four ARE going to have to park somewhere else. But as we were walking past the handicap parking I noticed that a truck was parked there that had no handicap tags on the license place and no placard in the window. Seeing that this kid was relatively close to my age, it pissed me off, so I called the police.
The police must not have been very busy that day because there was a cop there within about five minutes writing up the truck and saying thanks for calling it in. I was happy that this truck was getting a ticket so Nick and I went on our way. We were walking past the same entrance that we had come in and wanted to see if the car was still there, and get that satisfaction feeling again seeing it with a ticket. I got to see a whole lot more because when we went outside there was a tow truck slipping in under the rear tires. I told Nick “I’ve gotta see this”. So it only took a couple of minutes before it was being lifted into the air and hauled away.
We were about to turn around and go back into the mall to finish our shopping when behind us came this VERY loud “What the fuck!”. We could only assume that THIS was the trucks owner. He should have come out about a half hour sooner and probably could have saved himself. But as he was fuming at the scene Nick and I walked past, and just as we passed him I said loud enough for him to hear “next time don’t park in the handicap parking”. And without looking back we sprinted into the mall.
So that is my little rant on parking. If you want to double park, because I am very less likely to call the police on that one, go do it WAY FAR AWAY from the building where nobody is parking anyhow. Then there will be next to zero chance of me getting too upset with you. I’ll still think your an idiot, so that won’t change. But if you are not handicap, mark my words that if I notice I WILL call the police. And then it’s just a case of who gets there first. You, or the tow truck. I’m rooting for the tow truck.
Love to you all, and happy parking!
~Ryan
The DisInformation Protocol 