Art Vs. Pornography

One of the great mysteries in life is when does art become pornography, and when is pornography art?

I think before we can even discuss this we have to look at what the Dictionary.com definition is for both art and pornography.

Here is the one for Art: the quality, production, expression, or realm, according to aesthetic principles, of what is beautiful, appealing, or of more than ordinary significance; the class of objects subject to aesthetic criteria; works of art collectively, as paintings, sculptures, or drawings. 

Here is the one for Pornography: obscene writings, drawings, photographs, or the like, especially those having little or no artistic merit.

People have a bad habit of calling works of art pornography just because the drawing, painting, photograph, or sculpture happens to show penis, vagina, breasts, or buttocks.  They are not looking at the full scope of what the artwork is meant to represent.  In layman’s terms, pornography is meant to be sexually arousing, something to get off too, while art is meant to take in not only the subject of the work, but the surroundings as well.  Art is meant to tell a story, while pornography is meant to get you off.

Go into any art museum and I guarantee you will see more that one painting or sculpture that depicts a nude man, woman, or child, and nobody is calling that pornography.  Go to Europe and there are plenty of statues out in the public that depict nudity in artistic fashion.  One of my favorites is the Boy with a Frog (Link to Pictures of it on Google) that use to be in Venice, Italy.  It was removed May 9, 2013 and replaced with a street lamp.  HERE is the story about it’s removal that makes it seem like it had nothing to do with the fact that it was a naked preteen boy.  But as the story says, the statue did have it’s detractors.  It doesn’t make mention of the reason, but since the kid is naked, that is probably at the top of the list.

White Statue of Boy With Frog

Photo by: Todd Heisler/New York Times

But to me here is where it becomes art.  Take a look a the location: He is on a point, surrounded by water.  And what kid doesn’t like hunting for frogs?  I did when I was about that age or so.  I just wasn’t eight feet tall.  And what about his nudity?  The body is not something to be ashamed of.  Young, old, man, woman, slim, or obese.  Remember that according to the Bible (OK) that Adam and Eve were walking around for quite a while buck naked and perfectly fine with it.  It was only after the eating from the tree did they realize that they were naked.  [And by the way, if God is supposed to be this All Knowing entity how come he had to ASK Adam if he had eaten from tree? [Genesis 3:11] And He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?”]

Now here is another work of art that is nude: David by MICHELANGELO.  Nobody is calling this porn!

Statue of David by MICHELANGELO

It seems to me that the only time that things get classified as pornography is when they are photographs.  And yes, when you troll online there are plenty, and I mean PLENTY of websites and do nothing but feature pornography.  I’ll let you just Google the word porn on the images side and you’ll know what I mean.  But so now that I’ve given a few examples of how nudity with statues isn’t considered porn, now let’s take a look at a couple of photographs:

Boy Outdoors With Dog

This photo, like the statue of the boy and David is not meant to be sexually erotic.  It is supposed to showcase the naked naked body in natural surroundings.  It is a photograph that makes you think:  What is he looking at?  What is he pondering?  It is almost like the statue of The Thinker by Auguste Rodin, which is a nude as well by the way.  Yes, the photographer took the shot as a full frontal nude.  But now think if this was a statue sitting on a pedestal and made 300 years ago, would we call it art or pornography?

Out in Nature

Here is the second picture that I wanted to show.  Here is boy standing in pose in a natural setting.  What if this was turned into a sculpture and placed on the point where the Boy With Frog stood?  Would we call it art, or would we call it pornography?  And what if the men in the photographs had been the age of the Boy With Frog?  People would be screaming child pornography, the Boy With Frog stood there for four years.  It is people that do not have the appreciation for the naked body who will see every naked body as porn.  Hell if you would ever catch them at a nude beach!  Heaven’s there are naked men, women, and children all over at those places.

Yes, there is a very very fine line between art and pornography.  And each person is subject to his or her own opinion.  If the work is tasteful, and is done in a way to showcase not only the body but the surroundings, then I would consider it a work of art.  If the work is meant for the viewer to get aroused, and focuses entirely on just the body, then I would consider it pornography.  But there are also photographs that showcase just the body, with no surroundings that I would still consider art.

But from what I can see from what I read, see online, or at museums, is that the world is getting more and more uptight about the naked body.  There is nothing to be ashamed of.  Yes, there are people out there that will see a great artwork and get off on it.  Nothing we can do about those people.  But I think there are more people who know, or want to know, how to admire the body like it was intended to.

And before I go on this one, just two more photographs of statues and how weird some people can be, and believe:

Boy With Golden Penis – Prague Castle

This is an artwork at the Prague Castle in the Czech Republic.  It is supposed to give you good luck if you rub him where it counts.  Hence the fact that the statue is dark, but his penis and scrotum are shiny bronze.

Naked Angel Crying – Island of Tears, Minsk, Belarus

On the island of Tears in Minsk, Belarus is this statue of a crying angel.  It is said that brides come to the island on the wedding day to rub the angels penis to be bless the marriage with fertility and a male son.

So artwork verses pornography?  It really comes down to how you view the subject.  If a photograph was a statue would you consider it art?  If a statue was a live person would you consider it pornography?  It’s a fine line for sure.  But as an appreciator of the human body I hope that there is a lot of great artwork yet to come.

Love to you all!

~Ryan

EDIT: I found this picture about a half hour after the original post and really gets to jist of what I was trying to say.

There was no credits on the original post that I found.

These two are almost identical.  Are they both art?  Are they both Pornography?  Or is one art and one pornography?  To me they are both art.

Who is (Really) Teaching Sex Education

So first off, sorry that I took so long to get this one written.  I said on Saturday that I was going to do the follow up on Monday.  Well today is Thursday and I’m finally getting it done.

My last post I had said that my friend had said that his sex education class was only for a semester when he was 15 years old.  By then he had already experimented with sex with a few other boys and girls his age.  It was fun listening to him rattle off the story.  Him and a few buddies had gone off on a camping trip when they were 12 or so and though no sexual acts took place they did pull down their pants and compare.  Who was the biggest and smallest, who had hair starting to grow.  And then when he got his first girlfriend how he had felt up her breasts and slid his hand down her pants.  He said had didn’t go any farther than that with a girl until he was 17.

Back then it sounds like the only way you got sex education, or your rocks off as a guy, was by hanging around “that guy” who was always saying he knew how to get the girls and had been with “so many”, though in real life hadn’t been with a single one.  Even some of the boys I know around here are probably bragging more than their actual experience as a way to get people to think they are cool and want to hang out with them.  I guess there were also catalogs for places like Macy’s, and Sears seems to be a popular when when I ask, and they were looking at the underwear section at the models.  That is just a funny thing to even think about.

But now we have entered into the age of the internet, smart phones, and phones with cameras and the instant uploading of pictures.  Society has, like the Lord of the Rings, awakened the sleeping dragon, and there is no way to put him back to sleep other than to destroy him.

Today, people are getting their sex education from chat rooms like MenChats, or Chat-Avenue.  Personally I don’t find anything wrong with the chat sites in general.  But the adult/youth paranoia rains strong in rooms like that.  In MenChats the home page says that it is restricted to those who are over the age of 18 only.  But that certainly doesn’t stop someone under that age from clicking the button and going into the room and SAYING they are 18.  Only if they mess up and say their real age, or a moderator suspects will someone get bounced from the room.  In Chat-Avenue there are several different rooms to choose from.  There is a boys room where you only have to be 13 to enter and no maximum age, a teen chat for those 13 to 19 (oops I cant go to that one anymore), a gay chat that you have to be 17 to enter, and an adult chat that you have to be 18 to enter.  Can you see here that there is really nothing available for both adults and kids?

And believe me I know, and accept the reason why there is not.  I’ve gone into MenChats, and the Gay Chat and it is nothing but people who are horny and want to talk about sexual experiences or role play a sexual encounter.  Not exactly the place that you would want to go to ask questions about your own sexuality, or get information.  If there WAS a chat room available for something like that I would love to be one of the moderators.  But so far have not found one like that.

Next up is the free porn sites.  There are literally thousands of sites on the internet that are free porn, no log in required, no registration to make sure that you are of age, and download till your hearts content.  Just to give you an idea, there is PornHub and XVideos.  These are two fairly large websites that contain all sorts of porn: Gay, Bi, Straight, Kinky, you name it.  If you are a horny teen, all you have to do it go to the page and have fun.  But of course, this is not the best way for someone to get their sexual education.

Then lastly for my examples you have the live cam sites like Chaturbate and Omegle.  These sites again you don’t need a log in, there is no verification of age to watch and you can watch someone LIVE.  Just for example while I’m writing this I’ve been watching this very cute guy on Chaturbate who has just been talking to the people chatting to him while wearing his boxers.  I will say that he is pretty cute.

And then that leads me to the sleeping dragon.  Well, the dragon that is no longer sleeping.  There was this article on the Huffington Post:

Microsoft Launches Tool to Rid Internet of Child Porn 

Though I would love to see that come true, best I can say to that is “good luck with that”.  Because here is the big question that needs to be asked: Who are the people that are creating and posting most of the child porn these days?  Is anyone answering “the kids themselves”?  If not, you should be.  And we have given them the tools to do it!  Sexting anyone?  How many stories have we heard about someone getting in trouble because he or she sent x-rated pics to a friend and it ended up getting spread around.  We have given them Skype, we have given them Omegle, and we have given them webcams and phone cameras.

I’m NOT saying that it was the INTENTION of the companies to have under 18 year old people using these services in the way that they are.  And the sites are probably doing a pretty good job, as best they can, at keeping it off.  But before we gave the kids their webcams, and smart phones, did anyone sit down with them to have a discussion about internet sex?  I bet not.  This is why in the last article I said that sex education needs to start at an uncomfortably young age.  Kids are smart.  When they feel the tingle they will go find something to help release it and it isn’t always a good thing.  And I don’t think monitoring their web browsing or phone is a good way to do it.  That is like trying to put out the fire after the house has burnt to the ground.  It’s REactive instead of PROactive.

The younger we start to teach kids about sex and sexuality the more they are going to understand as they grow up.  They should then feel more comfortable coming to mom and dad and asking those sticky questions rather than trying to go online to find the answers.  Because one thing they probably don’t know is once it is out there on the internet, it is there FOREVER!  Let’s try to keep it in the pants rather that spread world wide on the internet.

The New Jersey Teacher/Student Sex Case & Sex Education

Lawyer for New Jersey Teacher in Student Sex Case Says it Was a ‘Victimless Crime’

So when I was eating lunch this afternoon and scrolling down the Huffington Post app I came across the story above and thought it was time to do another Rant about the age of consent, and just consent in general, because this story is just a little strange.  In case you don’t want to read it, it is about a teacher from New Jersey who was is accused of having and inappropriate relationship with three students.  Mind you that all three were 18.  If she in convicted, there is a mandatory five year sentence.

This one is just a little out of the ordinary for the typical teacher/student sex case.  Normally when you read about this type of case it is about the teacher having sex with a minor.  Since all three boys that she is accused of having the relationships with were above the age of 18, they were not minors.  So what we have here is sex between two consenting adults.  The question is whether or not New Jersey has a law forbidding sex between students and teachers in general.  If that is the case, then yes she is guilty.  But if there is no law forbidding that specifically, then what is she guilty of?  At least they were 18 and not 15!

I can see though, and have read enough, where it probably isn’t a good thing to be having sex with someone that might be subordinate to you, or the other way around superior to you in a school or work setting.  Take for example if me and my supervisor went off and had sex for a weekend and then she held it over my head holding back promotions or bonus’ unless I continued.  Or if she were my teacher at a college and was going to hold back grades.  Those things ARE wrong.  But for consenting adults wouldn’t that be more of a civil suit rather than a criminal one?  I could bring a civil suit that I was denied a promotion, or was given poor grades.  But in the end, we are talking about two consenting adults no matter what their influential position.  And as adults don’t we have the responsibility to know what we are getting into?

If you have sex with your boss, you have to have some inkling in your mind that it could turn out to be a disastrous decision.  Co-workers at the same level you are going to have issues with too if things don’t work out in the end and you have to see the person every day.  The same thing could be said for the teacher/student thing.  Apparently all three boys and the teacher went to the same school.  All three get the bragging rights for nailing the teacher, right?  AWKWARD!!

I am all for laws that prevent the misuse of authority in cases like this.  But not criminal ones.  Civil, go for it!

Now the story quotes Assistant Prosecutor Christopher Schellhorn as saying “[She was] seeking out sex and propositioning high school students for sex. This was not a victimless crime.”  If the students were over the age of 18, then where is the wrongdoing?  Again, unless New Jersey has a law restricting sexual relationships with students, there isn’t any.  Dumb though!!

So what would have happened if she had had sex with three 18yo boys from the next high school over?  More than likely nothing.  There would be no influence there, and everyone was an adult.  I think the same laws, rules, regulations that would apply to college professors and students would need to be applied.  Fire the teacher.  But there was nothing illegal.  I think what is getting the attention here is that the teacher and the students were all at the same HIGH SCHOOL.  Would we even be having this conversation if they were all in college?  I doubt it.

And that brings me to Part 2 of tonight’s Rant: Age of Consent.  I get it that parents want to keep their kids on a leash for as long as they can.  Especially if they are still living in the same house.  I think if I had kids I would feel the same way.  But at some point we have to let them go off on their own and BE adults, even if they ARE still living at home.

At 18 we let people, vote, join the military, and have sex!  We let them drive at 16, and drink at 21.  I couldn’t find it by searching “California Sex Education” but doesn’t that usually happen around 9th or 10th grade?  That means we are teaching kids about sex at 15 or 16, but only letting them have sex with other kids around their age.  To me, that is just stupid!  That is like teaching a 16yo how to drive, because 16 is the legal driving age and then making it illegal for him to drive!  There are states that let kids get their drivers permits at freaking 14 (AK, AR, ID, IA, KS, MI, MO, ND, SD, WI, WY) according to this list dated 2011.

Don’t you think it’s kinda odd that the states issue drivers permits, or restricted permits, where they have to have the guidance of an adult to drive, yet when it comes to sex, they get a short course in school and then it’s Go For It! When I was talking about this to one of my co-workers after lunch he said the his sex education was a semester long when he was in 10th grade. He was 15 at the time.  And after that there is no guidance, no instruction, nobody to turn to for questions other than other adults.  Sure your parents want you to come to them with all your questions, and I’ll give props or any dad that has the sex talk with his gay son on the proper use of condoms, cleaning up before being on the receiving end, and other things that gay men do during sex.

We teach by example.  Yet nobody wants to teach kids sex.  Schools and parents will teach kids about sex.  But when it comes to practical experience society yells at them for doing so.  My next door neighbor nearly flipped his lid last month when he discovered that his oldest son who is 16 has been having sex since he was 15.  Probably the fact that at the same time he found out his son was gay didn’t help any.  He found out because Nick and Brian were sitting on Brian’s porch talking about it and they didn’t notice his dad standing by the screen door listening.  I talked to David later and he said that he was listening not in horror, but in shock.  But I said the same thing to him.  We teach, but then forbid.  What’s up with that?

And to be honest, sex education needs to start a LOT sooner than it does.  Society, technology, and just the human body, demand it.  If you think about when boys start creating semen and girls start their periods, then sex education needs to start before that so when it does happen it isn’t a surprise or scares them.  But I think THAT scares parents.  I think the sex talk shouldn’t be a 15 minute sit down after you find porn on a computer or find out your son is having sex.  By then, it is mostly too late.  I think it should start early, and then be talked about often.  Think about how many gay boys and girls would have felt more comfortable revealing their sexuality if they talked about it often.

Who do we turn to to learn things?  Adults!  Adult middle school and high school teachers; sports coaches; boy and girl scout leaders; church leaders.  So what makes us think that when a boy or a girl has questions regarding sex that they aren’t going to go ask an adult?  You’re dumb if you don’t think they will.  I know I did.  Wouldn’t you feel more comfortable knowing that they were getting their education from someone that they knew and trusted?  Not everyone is out there to abuse.  Now like the teacher/student thing if it was ever forced, coearsed, or used to be held over the head, then that is wrong.

I am going to be gone tomorrow night because tomorrow is my birthday!! Happy 20th to ME!  So I am working a half day, and then Nick and I are spending the afternoon out in Beverly Hills before spending the night down at the Bonaventure.  But I am going to be back on Monday with a follow up to this Rant continuing with sex education, and teens watching porn.  So stick around.

Love to you all!

~Ryan

Cheating – #50

American’s Are Cool With All Kinds of Sex, Just Not the Extramarital Kind

So this was a pretty short article to read, but it also didn’t surprise me.  It pretty much says that society has become more tolerant of premarital sex, adolescent sex, and same-sex.  But that people still frown when it comes to cheating.

Now anyone that has followed me for a while knows my views on marriage.  With 30% of marriages ending in divorce, and probably more of them due to extramarital sex, that society would be more tolerant of that too.  I mean, really, look at all these people out there right now trying save the sanctity of marriage when they can’t keep those that are already married from staying that way.

What ever happened to the phrase “till death due us part”?   I think we need an updated version that says something like “till a younger hotter woman comes into my life who I would rather sleep with”, or “until we can no longer stand each other and decide to excuse ourselves from the ‘till death do us part thing’”.

So my question is: are humans REALLY a one couple thing for life, or is it in the nature of humans to seek out multiple sexual partners?  I think the later is the true one.  I think you can have multiple sexual partners and still love one person and choose to be with that person.  It works for Nick and I.  We are very open about our sexuality.  And just because he wants to go off and have sex with another guy doesn’t make him a bad person.  It just makes him human.

If people weren’t into having sex with other people, or multiple partners, then the 50yo guy walking down the street won’t turn his head to look at the 20 something who just walked past while holding his wife’s hand.  There would be no sex clubs for anonymous sex, be it gay or straight.

I think the study that should be done is to find out if people who have an open relationship, meaning that their partners can has sex with other people, have a more stable relationship.  It seems to me that it could possibly since you wouldn’t have to be worried all the time if your partner is going to go running off with someone new.  But I guess there is always still that fear.  Both Nick and I have had it.  But as it turns out, we both know that at the end of the day it is with each other that the day ends.

For those of you wondering though, we still say that we have that open relationship, but since the end of our hustling days, we have been pretty much a one on one couple now.   But love is a fickle thing.  You have to keep it interesting.  You have to keep it surprising.  You cannot let it get boring.  You cannot let it get routine.  When love becomes boring, and routine, then the cheating is on the way.  So don’t let it get that far.  Little gifts now and then make a huge difference.  And they don’t have to be expensive.  I’ve found it’s the stupid little things that make Nick smile the most.

So Love to you all!

~Ryan

Sex Education Part 2 – #36b

A few days ago I posted a Rant  about what I thought about sex education, and low an behold, I find THIS article on Huffington Post that helps me spell it out clear as day!  Four middle school students in Wisconsin are being charged with first and second degree sex assault after they had a “sex party”.  And of course in this age of the internet and phones with cameras, one of them recorded it.

I love this quote from the article: Jezebel’s Anna Merlan suggests there must be a different punishment available to authorities:It does seem like there is, perhaps, a less draconian way to punish these kids? Given that for most middle school students, taking away his or her phone is more painful than being dragged over thousands of miles of red hot coals?

This isn’t a time to punish the kids like this.  This is a time to educate.  You’re going to scar the kids for life by inditing them with a crime, and then punish them in a court if they are found guilty.  This is one case where if I was called to jury duty I’d have to side with the kids right off the bat.

First off, they were all middle school age according to the article.  That would mean the four of them were between the ages of 12 and 15.  To me that is the time where most kids start thinking about sex and sexuality.  I know I did.  Now we don’t know if they were all boys, or all girls, or a mix.  But here are couple of  questions that I would have asked the kids to educate them about sex:

1) What gave you the idea to have a sex party?  Let me guess.  Hmmm?  The internet maybe?  Probably.  Go to any site related to sex porn and you’re going to find one or two videos with sex parties.  Tumblr, some Blogger, gayboystube.com, Helix Studios.  And those are the ones right off the top of my head for gay stuff.  Probably a ton more for straight.

2) What gave you the idea to record it?  Again probably any sexually oriented porn web site will do that.  Just take our friend Tumblr here.  How many sexually oriented selfies do you come across of boys you KNOW are not 18 or older?  Be honest.  A LOT.

When I was talking about this article to a co-worker today, who knows what I did for my previous job, asked me if it was true that back in the day it was older men that made the porn?  I kinda just looked at him weird thinking “what are you getting at”.  And then he hit the nail with the hammer.  Most of the young guy porn I see on the internet is made by the young guys themselves.  Snapping dick and ass selfies and sending them to others.  Or posting them to blogs, or showing up on chaturbate.com or omegle.com.  I guess you used to have to pay big bucks for it.  Now it’s free cause we’ve giving millions of horny teens access to the internet, and phones with cameras, and haven’t educated them on why that’s a bad idea.

It’s one of reasons, well, the biggest one at least, why I don’t post selfies of myself or Nick.  I really don’t want those kind of pics to come back to haunt me 15 or 20 years from now.  Sure, I’ve thought about sending in an application to Helix, or just getting some really good, professionally done erotic nudes like the ones I post.  But if I did that, then I wouldn’t mind so bad.  Sure it may still come back to haunt me, but at least it is legal, and I know the risks.

How can we possibly justify prosecuting these four kids for exploring their sexuality when everything on the internet says “go right ahead”, and they probably haven’t had a sex ed class yet?  With all of them probably a max of three years between them, how could it possibly be considered assault if all of them were willing?  How many of YOU would have been charged if you think back to your younger years?

Yes, it wasn’t the smartest thing to do. Especially the recording part of it.  Who ever said us teens were bright?  Let’s not scar the kids for life.  Let’s teach them about it so they can make a better decision the next time.  Not everything kids do is criminal.  Most of the times it’s just dumb.

Love to you all!

~Ryan

[Originally Posted 2/3/15]

Sex Education – #36

Sorry, I messed up on the numbering on the original blog.  There was no post #35.

So work got kinda weird today when one of the guys that I work with said that his son has just started sex education class in school.  The weird part here is that his son is 15 and in 10th grade.  Wow, isn’t that a little late for sex ed these days?  By now I’m certain he got all he needs to know about sex off the internet. (j/k).

When is a good time for someone to learn about sex?  With the internet, and all the sex that one can find on it, I would say the sooner the better.  More people are becoming sexually active, and learning to be comfortable with their own sexuality sooner than I think most of the adults were.  And with the internet, that just takes it to a whole new level, I can imagine.  I’m not just saying that because Nick and I learned about sex at a early age.

Sex is everywhere.  It is on TV, it is in the movies, and of course it is ALL OVER the internet. So when is the right time to start teaching about sex?  I would say before a boy starts to ejaculate or a girl to menstruate.  At that age, though they are super young for it, they could, in reality, have sex and have a baby!!  Oops!!!!

Waiting until a kid is 14 or 15 to teach them about sex is like going through drivers education when your 20.  You’ve already been driving for four years, and you’re just now learning how to drive?  Don’t you want to learn how to drive first?  Teaching a kid about sex AFTER he has already done it seems kinda pointless.

If a boy or a girl starts out early in sex just by exploration say when they are 12 or 13, maybe they don’t know about condoms and safe sex.  Maybe they don’t know about STD’s.  Maybe they don’t even realize that they could get a baby out of it.  Wouldn’t that be a wake up call for the new grand parents.  LOL.

And what to teach in sex ed I think is becoming more important as well.  In June we get to find out if the Supreme Court is going to say that gay marriage is constitutional or not.  And I think we all know which way they are going to lean.  That means in sex ed classes that are funded by the public should include what it means to be gay, lesbian, or transgender.  I don’t believe for a second that this this would be “promoting” the homosexual lifestyle as I read that so many think would happen.  In a sex education class I just think that all types of sex need to be discussed.

This could be where new kids going through the class can be taught that it is OK to be gay, or lesbian, or transgender.  You can say it’s OK without promoting it.  We teach kids about smoking without promoting it.  And we teach kids about guns without promoting them.  Why can’t we do the same thing with sex?

Yea, I do get it that sex is a difficult subject to approach with your kids.  Even Nick and I with our vast experience get red faced, embarrassed, and sometimes a little squemish when someone asks us about sex.  OMG this is so much a discussion to have with your own parents!!

In the absence of sex education before you get horny, and parents who are reluctant to talk to their kids about it, where do you think they are going to get the education from?  They are either going to go to websites you don’t approve of, they are going to ask an adult who may then decide to teach by doing, or they are going to go to that one friend who “claims” to have had so much sex he is the expert when in fact the only action he has ever seen is wanking off into his socks.

I’ll admit that it does sound crazy to want to teach sex education to a bunch of 5th and 6th graders.  But doesn’t that beat the alternative?

Love to you all as always!!

~Ryan

[Originally Posted 1/27/15]

Sex & Sexuality – #24

Our generation has the advantage of having the internet to help explore our sexuality.  I can only imagine what it was like for the older guys when I hear stories about having to find their dad’s, or the best friends dad’s, stash of porno mags like Playboy and Penthouse.  Or the stories that I really find funny about jacking off to the underwear model pictures in catalogs.  LOL.  Guess anything will do, right?

But I got asked recently about what age do I think is too early to have sex.  I got asked because I had recently told this person about what I did in the past.  It made me curious and I asked one of the blogs that I follow what would be their bottom and top limit in age for sex.  His answer really got me thinking, when is it too early to have sex?

First off, we guys first start to ejaculate around the age for 12 or 13.  So that tells you that biology is now saying that the body is about ready.  NO, I’m NOT saying 12 and 13yo’s should go out having sex.  Far from it.  With sex comes responsibility, and most guys don’t know that.  Take me for example.  I think that’s why most parents have that embarrassing sex talk, that I never got.  But according to Details/Health, a boys body at 18 is “producing the most sex-revving testosterone they ever will, according to Ava Cadell, Ph.D., a Los Angeles sexologist and founder of LoveologyUniversity.com. Research shows that barely legal men have the fastest and firmest erections and are the best equipped for encore performances.”

So it’s no wonder why there are tons of horny teens around.  When we are 18 our bodies are just churning that sexual energy.  Though the same article does say that men peak in their sexuality around 30.  It also says “Interestingly, a recent survey of more than 12,000 people found that women have the best sex of their lives at 28. Men, on the other hand, reported 33 to be the best sexual age.

So is there really an age that is too young to have sex?  I think the best is if younger guys discover sex on their own.  My earliest recollection of sex when when I was about six.  There was another girl about the same age that we went behind the big trash bins near where we lived and pulled our pants down and felt each other up.  We didn’t do anything more than than, but one of the other kids saw us and told my parents.  Boy do I still remember the yelling that went on after that.  LOL.  Needless to say that was the end of my sexual adventures until I was 12.

So if a boy wants to explore sex at a young age, I don’t think there is anything wrong with that.  It is perfectly natural.  It’s the bodies way of saying it’s time to get going.  There was a post I read that said that the body craves four things: food, water, sex, and sleep.  Sex being the one that is going to reproduce the population.  It’s only society rules that say that young boys and girls cant have sex to have babies.

But the most important thing about sex at an early age has to be that the is no force or coercion into it. And in my experience I have seen plenty of that. It has to be a totally natural experience.  We all enjoy sex.  I’ve enjoyed it, for the most part, ever since my first experience.  So as long as you are exploring naturally, sex can happen at nearly any age.  It’s the responsibility of those of us that are older to explain it to the younger guys, because no, we don’t want a bunch of pregnant 13 or 14yo girls.  And we don’t want the gay boys having sex with every other gay boy that out there.

It is also a part of growing up I think.  It’s these times I wish I had a normal growing up experience.  Most of the older men I talk to love to share their first times, be it gay or straight, and most are at a pretty young age, and most look back on them with fond memories.  Though there are the few that were forced as well.  I’ve noticed that the ones that experienced force are the ones that are more protective of the younger guys about getting into sex.  Which I can totally understand.

So yea, that was a pretty long winded answer to that question.  I kinda hope that I actually answered it too.  And for those who want me to answer the question I had asked, I’m 19, not any younger than Nick.  And if for some reason I didn’t have him, he would have to have a good personality and be a little mature.  I’m not so much concerned about age as long as ultimately the two of us get along together.  My parents were nearly 10 years in age apart from each other.  As for older guys, as long as they can treat me with respect and not just look at me as a sex object like i was for nearly five years.

Well that does it for this one.  Love to you all as always!!

~Ryan

[Originally Posted 12/3/14]

Do You Know What Fisting Is?

Sorry to all the loyal fans that haven’t seen a Rant or an About Me in a while.  Nick and I have been off in the evenings doing an art class that he wanted to do.  Let’s just say that after a week, he is more talented in that department than I am.

If you think the title of this Rant is a little off, then would you believe that it is the title for this Huffington Post article?  When I first saw it, I said “no, they can’t be talking about what I think they are?” Sure enough, as I was reading the article, they were.  For those that don’t know what it is, I’ll let you use Google.

The article starts out with a quote from Mike Huckabee, the former Governor of Arkansas saying “There is no doubt in my mind that this country would not exist had it not been for the providential hand of God”.  Actually, if you want to get the history right, this country would not exist except for the wiping out of native Americans and forcing them to live on small pieces of land that the Government picked out.

Plus, God is a man made character anyhow.  Think about it, who do you think God would be more pissed off at?  The two gay people who are trying just to have a family, loving each other and everyone else, and minding their own business? Or the haters that think being gay is a sin, its a choice, and you have to be “fixed”?  I’ve read the “Good Book” and I don’t remember anywhere in it preaching hate.  I remember it saying “love thy neighbor as you do yourself”.  I don’t remember it saying “except for homosexuals, prostitutes, and the ill”.

If they say that God has a plan for everyone, then maybe God’s plan for me WAS for my parents to get killed, me to run away, become a hustler, meet Nick so I could be his protector and get him off the street.  Or on the flip side: what if God’s plan for Nick was to become a street kid so I would meet him, and because of him I’M the one that get’s off the street?  So if we think that God has a plan for everyone, everything, and every event is pre-programmed, then how can ANYTHING be wrong?

And teaching kids bestiality, sadomasochism, and fisting?  Where the HELL did THAT come from?  I was a hustler for five years, you know how many times bestiality came up? ZERO!!  Do you know how many videos I’ve found online like that?  In the same time frame, maybe two.  And fisting?  OMG!!  Even the super dom guys that hired me never even went there.  I’d heard about it, but wasn’t till I saw a video online when i was like near 17 that I’d SEEN what it was.  I was never taught that.  Fuck, where do people get these ideas?

Now the sadomasochism thing, that can be a little bit more touchy.  There are plenty of sadistic kids out there, we just have a habit of calling them bullies.  These are the kids that like to beat on other kids physically, or hurt animals, and they do it for pleasure, for the rush.  What if instead of punishing them, or suspending them from school, there was a way for them to learn to control their voracity and violence? What if he were to meet an adult that is also a sadomasochist and is able to teach him to control it, get pleasure from the rush that he feels when inflicting pain, but not actually hurt anyone or anything? Yea, I know that’s a stretch.

And NOBODY likes to get bullied.  And I am very much anti-bully.  But there are a few, if only a very few teens that like (and that’s kinda the wrong word) to feel pain, who know they get a rush from it, but don’t understand the feelings.  I was one of those kids.  It wasn’t until I got play spanked by a friend of mine that I wanted to explore that more.  I was lucky that I met an adult who understood and was willing to teach me.  And not all people who cut themselves with sharp things are trying to commit suicide.  Again, they do it for the rush, that weird feeling where pain is blissful.  But who out there is going to understand what these people are going through and not think they need to be hospitalized and medicated?

But even in regular activities society has demonized the idea of a non family adult being a role model to a kid that the person has no affiliation with.  It’s gotten almost to the point of “why would that adult want to hang out with that kid, something must be going on”.  Kids need role models.  And I don’t mean characters on some TV show, but real adults to go ask questions to.  There are some things that you want to talk about with other folks, and not be it your parents.  I couldn’t talk to mine, but still even the idea of talking to them about boys and sex, and all that makes me feel weird.

Just the other day I was watching a documentary on Hulu called “Inside the 50 Shades of Grey”.  I haven’t read the book yet, but after watching that, I’m going to the bookstore soon to get it.  It was all about people revealing how and why they live in the sadomasachistic life.  And some of them revealed that either they were intrigued, or started playing like that, at a young age.  But again, I say who is going to be THESE kids role models?

This is a quote cut and pasted from the article: “One of the women, Katie Donoghue – who asked to be identified by her middle name because she had taken off work to attend the rally – paused and shook her head. “I’m fearful of these incremental steps,” she said. “They’re teaching young children about bestiality now.” “And they’re teaching them about sadomasochism,” Andrea DelVecchio, her friend, added. “And fisting!“ Donoghue said. “Do you know what fisting is?” 

If there is anyone out there actually TEACHING kids about these things, hell yea, I’ll the the first in line to bounce a brick of their skull.  But there is a difference in “teaching” and “educating”.  Teaching to me would be you have a person and a dog, and you instruct on how to get the dog to fuck you.  Or fisting, you have someone in a chair watching as you demonstrate on another person.  But educating is if a person approaches you asks “what is that person humping a dog in the video?” or “Why does that man have his hand up that girls butt”, and then trying to explain the why of it.  I think that is was the difference between and teaching and educating.

I’d love to have that person from the article tell me who they saw or heard teaching this stuff, and who was doing the learning.  Yea, there would be a problem with that.

But hello!!  Unless you pull the plug on your kids internet or take responsibility to monitor what they are doing on the internet, all they have to do it type in the word “gay” into Google and start scrolling.  And sorry to all the younger guys that read my blog.  Nothing against you guys at all.

So what else is there to say?  I think this is my longest Rant to date.  God did not create the country, people did.  There is nobody out there teaching beastiality, sadomaschiosim, or fisting to your kids.  And guess who is going to have to try to explain it when your straight as an arrow kid sees a video of that one line, and asks YOU about it.  Guess who’s doing the teaching now!?!

Love to ya all!

~Ryan

[Originally Posted 6/23/14]

Save Sex and Then Swallow Cum?

For anyone that likes to watch gay sex, or even straight sex for that matter, this is something that has always puzzled me. You hear all of the warnings about using condoms during sex, and not exchanging body fluids, so you dont get any STDs or HIV. Even paramedics these days rarely do actual mouth to mouth so as not to get infected.

So why is it then that when the sex porn actors are having sex with condoms they turn around and then either swallow the cum from the other guy, or after he gives the other guy a facial, he sucks the head of the cock that just cummed on him? That seems to defeat the whole safe sex idea, doesn’t it?

I can certainly understand the concern and why porn stars, and even us regular boys, would want to have save sex. I do have friends that have gotten HIV or other nasty things. I know seeing a guy swallow someone else’s cum load is hot, and I like being on both sides. But it reminds me of the saying that you can’t have your cake and eat it too. It’s one way or the other.

From where I’m sitting you could have sex with me a dozen times with a condom and I wont get HIV if you have it, but if you shoot off in my mouth I’m done for. I guess I’m lucky. I made it through five years of working and didn’t get HIV. Wont say that I didn’t get a couple other nasty things along the way though. And I know I have a weird perspective on it. It may be preventable, but also not. And just like cancer, has no cure. I can freak out and worry every time I have sex that I’m gonna get it and die in 10 years. But what’s not to say that they find that I have cancer tomorrow and I’ll be dead in three instead.

Now I’m certainly not advocating to go out and be reckless in sex. Only you can decide what you want to do, and how you want to do it. You just have to be ready to pay the price. Some people enjoy group sex at bath houses and have gotten HIV and died from it. And some people like to race car drive and have been killed by it. We take a risk doing everyday things that can kill us just as dead. The important thing, I think, is to just live life how you want. Death will come soon enough. Some of us it will be tomorrow, and others years from now.

So if your going to cum in the guys mouth anyhow, or your going to blow him after he has climaxed, then pull off the condom and give us a good show, cause the condom was pointless anyhow!

Love ya all!!

~Ryan

[Originally Posted 6/16/14]