Lawyer for New Jersey Teacher in Student Sex Case Says it Was a ‘Victimless Crime’
So when I was eating lunch this afternoon and scrolling down the Huffington Post app I came across the story above and thought it was time to do another Rant about the age of consent, and just consent in general, because this story is just a little strange. In case you don’t want to read it, it is about a teacher from New Jersey who was is accused of having and inappropriate relationship with three students. Mind you that all three were 18. If she in convicted, there is a mandatory five year sentence.
This one is just a little out of the ordinary for the typical teacher/student sex case. Normally when you read about this type of case it is about the teacher having sex with a minor. Since all three boys that she is accused of having the relationships with were above the age of 18, they were not minors. So what we have here is sex between two consenting adults. The question is whether or not New Jersey has a law forbidding sex between students and teachers in general. If that is the case, then yes she is guilty. But if there is no law forbidding that specifically, then what is she guilty of? At least they were 18 and not 15!
I can see though, and have read enough, where it probably isn’t a good thing to be having sex with someone that might be subordinate to you, or the other way around superior to you in a school or work setting. Take for example if me and my supervisor went off and had sex for a weekend and then she held it over my head holding back promotions or bonus’ unless I continued. Or if she were my teacher at a college and was going to hold back grades. Those things ARE wrong. But for consenting adults wouldn’t that be more of a civil suit rather than a criminal one? I could bring a civil suit that I was denied a promotion, or was given poor grades. But in the end, we are talking about two consenting adults no matter what their influential position. And as adults don’t we have the responsibility to know what we are getting into?
If you have sex with your boss, you have to have some inkling in your mind that it could turn out to be a disastrous decision. Co-workers at the same level you are going to have issues with too if things don’t work out in the end and you have to see the person every day. The same thing could be said for the teacher/student thing. Apparently all three boys and the teacher went to the same school. All three get the bragging rights for nailing the teacher, right? AWKWARD!!
I am all for laws that prevent the misuse of authority in cases like this. But not criminal ones. Civil, go for it!
Now the story quotes Assistant Prosecutor Christopher Schellhorn as saying “[She was] seeking out sex and propositioning high school students for sex. This was not a victimless crime.” If the students were over the age of 18, then where is the wrongdoing? Again, unless New Jersey has a law restricting sexual relationships with students, there isn’t any. Dumb though!!
So what would have happened if she had had sex with three 18yo boys from the next high school over? More than likely nothing. There would be no influence there, and everyone was an adult. I think the same laws, rules, regulations that would apply to college professors and students would need to be applied. Fire the teacher. But there was nothing illegal. I think what is getting the attention here is that the teacher and the students were all at the same HIGH SCHOOL. Would we even be having this conversation if they were all in college? I doubt it.
And that brings me to Part 2 of tonight’s Rant: Age of Consent. I get it that parents want to keep their kids on a leash for as long as they can. Especially if they are still living in the same house. I think if I had kids I would feel the same way. But at some point we have to let them go off on their own and BE adults, even if they ARE still living at home.
At 18 we let people, vote, join the military, and have sex! We let them drive at 16, and drink at 21. I couldn’t find it by searching “California Sex Education” but doesn’t that usually happen around 9th or 10th grade? That means we are teaching kids about sex at 15 or 16, but only letting them have sex with other kids around their age. To me, that is just stupid! That is like teaching a 16yo how to drive, because 16 is the legal driving age and then making it illegal for him to drive! There are states that let kids get their drivers permits at freaking 14 (AK, AR, ID, IA, KS, MI, MO, ND, SD, WI, WY) according to this list dated 2011.
Don’t you think it’s kinda odd that the states issue drivers permits, or restricted permits, where they have to have the guidance of an adult to drive, yet when it comes to sex, they get a short course in school and then it’s Go For It! When I was talking about this to one of my co-workers after lunch he said the his sex education was a semester long when he was in 10th grade. He was 15 at the time. And after that there is no guidance, no instruction, nobody to turn to for questions other than other adults. Sure your parents want you to come to them with all your questions, and I’ll give props or any dad that has the sex talk with his gay son on the proper use of condoms, cleaning up before being on the receiving end, and other things that gay men do during sex.
We teach by example. Yet nobody wants to teach kids sex. Schools and parents will teach kids about sex. But when it comes to practical experience society yells at them for doing so. My next door neighbor nearly flipped his lid last month when he discovered that his oldest son who is 16 has been having sex since he was 15. Probably the fact that at the same time he found out his son was gay didn’t help any. He found out because Nick and Brian were sitting on Brian’s porch talking about it and they didn’t notice his dad standing by the screen door listening. I talked to David later and he said that he was listening not in horror, but in shock. But I said the same thing to him. We teach, but then forbid. What’s up with that?
And to be honest, sex education needs to start a LOT sooner than it does. Society, technology, and just the human body, demand it. If you think about when boys start creating semen and girls start their periods, then sex education needs to start before that so when it does happen it isn’t a surprise or scares them. But I think THAT scares parents. I think the sex talk shouldn’t be a 15 minute sit down after you find porn on a computer or find out your son is having sex. By then, it is mostly too late. I think it should start early, and then be talked about often. Think about how many gay boys and girls would have felt more comfortable revealing their sexuality if they talked about it often.
Who do we turn to to learn things? Adults! Adult middle school and high school teachers; sports coaches; boy and girl scout leaders; church leaders. So what makes us think that when a boy or a girl has questions regarding sex that they aren’t going to go ask an adult? You’re dumb if you don’t think they will. I know I did. Wouldn’t you feel more comfortable knowing that they were getting their education from someone that they knew and trusted? Not everyone is out there to abuse. Now like the teacher/student thing if it was ever forced, coearsed, or used to be held over the head, then that is wrong.
I am going to be gone tomorrow night because tomorrow is my birthday!! Happy 20th to ME! So I am working a half day, and then Nick and I are spending the afternoon out in Beverly Hills before spending the night down at the Bonaventure. But I am going to be back on Monday with a follow up to this Rant continuing with sex education, and teens watching porn. So stick around.
Love to you all!
~Ryan
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